Tag: vegan fish

Vivera Fish Goujons

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Contains: wheat

Free from: palm oil, nuts, soya

Nothing says commitment to your blog like not posting for 2 weeks then getting pissed, trying out some fish goujons, and typing up some drunk nonsense as if that counts as a quality review.

As entertaining as Drunk G can be, I had to get my shit together and actually turn that crap into something I could actually publish.

Ages ago I reviewed Quorn’s Fishless Fingers and BOY WAS I JAZZED. I’ll spare you the reminiscing about fish finger sandwiches (because obviously you read that blog post, duh) but the basic gist was that even my omni sister found them so convincing she’d struggle to tell them apart from the real thing.

Despite a high standard previously set by a fake fishy sandwich filler, Vivera’s Fish Goujons completely blew my mind.

They were very convincingly fishy without going overboard (because no one wants their fake fish to taste like the underside of Brighton Pier), and they nailed the texture inside and out. The breadcrumb is much nicer on these goujons than on Quorn’s as it does crumble when you bite into it, unlike the fishless fingers. Vivera really went all-out to trump Quorn in every possible way, because even cooking the goujons is quicker than sticking the fishless fingers in the oven for god knows how long (okay so it’s still only 15 minutes but that’s AFTER pre-heating and when you’re a hungry bitch like me, every minute is precious before we get to full-blown hanger). The goujons just need light frying for about 4 minutes and they’re cooked through and ready to go.

 

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Look at these beautiful golden bastards. For the sake of science I put them in a fishfinger sandwich, in order to draw a direct comparison with the fishless fingers I know and love. The goujons absolutely smashed it; they were bigger, thicker, juicier, and all-around tastier than the fishless fingers. I ate that sandwich in under 2 minutes then went back and made another (…for science, obviously…).

Honestly, if Vivera keep bringing their A-game I am going to have to buy some bigger jeans because I can’t get enough of their chilled products right now.

  • My Rating – 5/5
  • Omnivore Score – 5/5
  • Overall – 5/5

Find this product at: Tesco

by georgiamadness

Tesco Meat Free Fishless Fish Cakes

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Contains: wheat

Free from: nuts, palm oil, soy

There was one time back in my omni days at uni when I was so unwell I became a pathetic lump and could not get out of bed, even to feed myself. Yes, you heard that right – not even food could motivate me. Ryan (being the best pal that he is) did my delusional bidding and went down the chippy and got me a fish cake and chips.

It made me feel SO MUCH WORSE. THANKS FOR NOTHING, RYAN.

The point there was supposed to be that I used to love fishcakes so much that I would risk heaving them back up just in case that happened to be my last meal (it was only sinusitis… I was totally not being dramatic…).

I found this brand new box of wonder in the free-from freezer section of Tesco (where I do most of my weekly shop) and I was so excited to try them, expecting great things seeing as Tesco has been well ahead of the game in terms of stocking some top-notch vegan nosh.

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They definitely look that part, and they only take 20 minutes in the oven from frozen which is pretty much the upper limit when it comes to waiting time when you’re a lazy  and impatient bitch like me.

Here’s the thing… while Tesco is often the front runner of supplying us with convenient vegan food, it can also sometimes fall a little flat when it comes to their own-brand stuff.

These fishless fishcakes were perfect… if you were never really a fan of fish.

Instead of fishy, they taste quite starchy. Not in a necessarily unpleasant way… just in a sort of underwhelming “carbs with herbs” kinda way. Texture-wise they’ve hit the bulls-eye because the breadcrumb is really flavourful and doesn’t form a hard shell that conceals a mushy interior. It cooked evenly all the way through and (with enough ketchup) was a fairly inoffensive meal.

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Yeah. The best I can come up with for this is “inoffensive”. God, I should really work in marketing…

Look, it was fine. Not “fine” like how your partner says “fine” when you say you’re going down the pub with your mates and don’t know when you’ll be back. More like “fine” as in “the weather here in England managed to break into the low teens temperature-wise and it isn’t pissing down with rain”. That kind of fine. You aren’t going to put on a garish Hawaiin shirt and party about it, but you’ll take it if it’s there and won’t complain.

In short, there are better fake fish products out there. My omni sister swears that Quorn fishless fingers taste like the real deal, so I’m sure at some point in the future there will be some vegan fishcakes that actually taste like they were at one point somewhat vaguely near the damn ocean…

  • My Rating – 3/5
  • Omnivore Score – 2/5
  • Overall – 3/5

Find this product at: Tesco

by georgiamadness