Tag: meat replacement

Vivera Veggie Steak

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Contains: soya, wehat

Free from: nuts, palm oil

Unless you’ve been living in the Marianas Trench for the last few weeks, you’ll have heard that Vivera’s Vegan Steaks launched in Tesco, and they’ve been flying off the shelves.  That’s right – VEGAN STEAK! IN THE UK!

When I went vegan, my parents were shocked mostly because in my omni days my favourite meal was steak (done rare, no less…). I was as far from vegan as you could get. If you asked 14 year old Georgia if she’d ever give up cooking slabs of meat on the BBQ in exchange for a soy mock-up… well she would probably write some emo poetry or post a cringe-y Facebook status about how she less-than-threes steak more than life itself.*

Regardless, here I am, aged 23 and possibly breaking speeding laws to get my ass to the nearest Tesco before the Vivera steaks sell out so I can ethically revisit my youth and have something to blog about this week.

Here’s what it looked like fresh out the frying pan. It took less than 5 minutes to cook so pairing it with chips was a terrible idea considering how fucking hungry I was when I set out to cook this meal, but I digress…

 

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THE VERDICT?

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

It’s not perfect, don’t get me wrong. I’m not gonna stand here and wax lyrical about how it’s a bloody marvel and an exact replica of a rump or sirloin. But my god, it is god damn close enough.

The texture is great. It’s meaty, while not being exact like steak as you don’t have to saw through it, so you can put your old steak knives back in their rightful place – lost somewhere in the miscellaneous cutlery drawer.

The taste is amazing. It’s juicy and the right amount of salty, though you can tell there is a distinct soy taste to it. Jazzed up with some peppercorn sauce and this basic dinner would be a fucking winner no matter who you fed it to.

As for cooking? You literally could not fuck this up. I wasn’t kidding when I said it takes less than five minutes in a frying pan. Just don’t get distracted for five fucking minutes and you’ll be golden.

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Let’s be honest here – this steak is not gonna be for everyone. It may be vegan, but there are vegans out there who are so far removed from meat that they do not want or need this steak in their lives and that’s fine (more for me). There are going to be omnis out there with sticks so far up their asses that they would not even deign to try this, and again – that’s fine (because once again, more for me). And of course there will be people who still eat steak or used to eat steak who give this a go and think it falls ever so slightly short and they won’t be having it a second time. Kudos for trying, please give me your leftovers.

I loved this. I honestly fucking loved it. I could not have asked for anything more perfect because it ticks all the right boxes in taste, texture, price, and effort without being an exact replica of steak because frankly, I wouldn’t want that. I’d be too freaked. The Vivera steak toes the line and does it with such precision; I could not commend this any higher.

Oh and for anyone still on the fence about trying it: a pack of 2 Vivera steaks cost about £2.40 (less than a coffee from Costa, I’m just saying…).

  • My Rating – 5/5
  • Omnivore Score – 4/5
  • Overall – 5/5

Find this product at: Tesco

*for anyone confused… that’s how we used to roll with making heart emojis back in the days of MSN. ❤

by georgiamadness

Taifun Tofu Wiener

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Contains: gluten, soy

Free From: nuts, palm oil

I used to live in New York and let me tell ya, the hot-dogs there and single handedly the most delicious and most disgusting thing you could ever possibly put in your mouth.

There’s just something about stuffing your face with a warm hot-dog smothered in ketchup (Yes, ketchup. All you mustard lovers are freaks.) while walking through central park in the snow… until your brain suddenly kicks in and goes “I bet it’s all ears and assholes and feet in this”. Cue 14 year-old G desperately trying not to throw up in public…. That wasn’t my last experience with the “real deal” but it was definitely the most memorable…

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Enter stage right: TOFU WIENER.

These long-ass frankfurters look, smell, and taste exactly the same as a classic hot-dog with the comfort of knowing there are no added assholes. They are really flavoursome and have that classic smokey taste, and they definitely aren’t the rubbery texture I was expecting.

You can even eat these veggie wieners hot or cold. The cooking instructions are to “heat in hot water for 3-4 minutes”, but me being a lazy student with zero time to wait around for water to boil I just stabbed the sausages with a fork a couple times and put them in the microwave for 40 seconds and that did the job just fine.

You could very easily bring these to a barbecue, whack ’em on the grill, and serve them up to all your pals and they would have no clue that they weren’t chomping on ground up off-cuts. I’d go as far as to say these are my top find for summer. From now on, if anyone tries to hit me up with that big-ass-mushroom-instead-of-a-burger bullshit at a barbecue I will be slapping them across the face with a wiener (oooh dirty) and screaming WE DON’T PUT UP WITH THAT BLAND SHIT ANYMORE.

One pack costs £3.50 which is reasonable given that you get four ENORMOUS wieners (hehehe) and a standard hot-dog bun only requires half a wiener, but they’re definitely more expensive than their meaty counterparts. Ah, the value of animal life.

  • My Rating: 5/5
  • Omnivore Score: 5/5
  • Overall: 5/5

Find this product at: Waitrose and online 

by georgiamadness

Linda McCartney’s Shredded Hoisin Duck

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Contains: Gluten, Soy

Free from: Palm Oil, Nuts

I remember waiting six months at a time for Chinese New Year or Half Year to come round literally just for my mother to make crispy duck pancakes so if there was ever an authority in this department, that would be me. At £2.50 for 300g (which if you’re a hungry hungry hippo like me then that’s around 3 or so servings) you could not find a better bargain for near authenticity. If you don’t buy this, you’ve insulted my ancestors.

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Now first off, if you turned your nose up at the idea of “duck” then turn it down. Next open the bag because inside you’ll find that not only is this it the right rich, mahogany colour that it should be but the packaging doesn’t lie. This is shredded. Pulled meat alternatives are hard to come by in terms of aesthetics but this is exactly that.  As soon as it hit the skillet, I was honestly teleported back to mama’s kitchen with the smell of thick hoisin sauce in the air, preparing rice pancakes and chopping spring onions. Linda has scored major points in keeping it true to the real deal here.

Taste-wise it’s absolute perfection. The Chairman himself would shed a tear, it’s not overpowered by the typically heavy-duty hoisin flavour (though they’ve not skimped out, it’s definitely detectable) and the texture is on par with what you’d expect – supple yet chewy. Don’t be fooled into thinking this is only suitable for those fancy pancakes either, the flavouring and texture is flexible enough that you’d could sprinkle these into most rice dishes and you’d be in for a treat.

Would I be able to tell the difference between this and regular shredded duck? I’d probably be too busy face down in the bowl to respond… But honestly, I cannot sing its praises enough. This is the most genuine taste of home I’ve had in a while.

  • My Rating: 5/5
  • Omnivore Score: 5/5
  • Overall: 5/5

Find this product at: Tesco and Sainsbury’s

by Ryan