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Clearspot Organic Tofu & Bean Burgers

Contains: Wheat, Soya  Free from: Palm Oil, Nuts I’ve been vegan for long enough now that I know going off the big brands is a gamble. In this case, I put some money into a poker game only to realise I should’ve been playing blackjack. What I mean is, this burger? Shit burger. However it’s…

Cauldron Vegan Burgers

Contains: Wheat Free from: Palm Oil, Nuts, Soya Special shout out to a couple of JFP fans for giving me this to try out. Now, without sounding horribly offensive to those who gifted them, the orange hockey pucks (see below) were possibly not the worst thing I’ve tried from Cauldron. We’ll get to where they…

VBites Gourmet Beanfeast Pate

Contains: Wheat Free from: Palm Oil, Nuts, Soya WARNING WARNING WARNING. People who are: weak of stomach, pregnant, below the age of 18, above the age of 18 and those with love for themselves, do not read on. This won’t be the last you’ll hear this about VBites but let’s talk more about this “Gourmet”…

GranoVita Mock Duck

Contains: wheat, soy Free from: nuts, palm oil When I opened my can of mock duck, I experienced a feeling of complete and utter repulsion that until this day I thought would be reserved for the unlikely event of Boris Johnson dropping his trousers and sexually propositioning me. Splaying the clammy, flesh-toned”meat” on my kitchen…

Linda McCartney Pulled Chicken

Contains: wheat, soya Free From: palm oil, nuts Seeing as Ryan loved Linda’s shredded duck so much I thought fuck it, the chicken must be just as good. Opening the packet I thought “well, this is some flaky bullshit right here”. I thought they fucked up, that instead of moist and tender chicken shreds I…

Cauldron Vegan Sausages

Contains: Soya, Gluten Free from: Nuts, Palm Oil Everyone’s favourite tofu people. I’d actually been warned heavily against these beforehand which I think is why they pleasantly surprised me (like you know when you have to downplay your bedroom abilities so when it comes to it, anything’s good? No? Just me? Shit.). Well for £2.50…