Category: Cheese

New Roots Free the Goat Cheeze

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Contains: nuts

Free From: palm oil, wheat, soy

Some of you may have heard the news – New Roots is coming to London!

For those of you who haven’t got a fucking clue what I’m on about, New Roots is a Swiss company that does fan-fucking-tastic nut based artisanal cheeses. They previewed at VegFest 2017 and it was the first stall I dragged my pal Yas to (I had already made it damn clear that my VegFest 2017 mission was to find and eat all of the cheese).

Their camembert has gone down as a bit of an urban legend because it is just that damn good, so for them to bring their stuff to Planet Organic stores is basically a fucking Godsend.

At VegFest I managed to snag one of their ricotta style goat cheeses, and I have had this draft sitting on the blog for basically 5 months now, hiding the cheesy goodness from you all, but back the fuck off, I am busy af.

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Yes my food photography needs work but I was HUNGRY so FUCK OFF.

The “Free-the-Goat Cheeze” is one of the creamiest vegan cheeses you can try without it coming spreadable from a tub. It’s got that tang that is essential when you’re emulating goat cheese , and the texture has a light airiness about it that makes it a dead ringer for ricotta.

I am not even ashamed that I ate the entire thing in one evening, it was fucking phenomenal. If I can get my hands on everything New Roots has to offer then I can die happy.

I wish I hadn’t been such a greedy bitch and wolfed it all down like a cracker-wielding maniac, because one thing I have missed since going vegan is spinach and ricotta cannelloni/ravioli. I have no idea if attempting such a thing with New Roots’ cheese would even be a good idea, so don’t blame me if your dinner goes tits up and you’re left with a gooey carby mess… but I do wish I could’ve exercised at least the restraint of a five year old and attempted to make my long-lost favourite dish with this because it is such a good ricotta clone.

Now I have no idea what their pricing will be when they crash land in Planet Organic stores, but currently their online store sells the Free-the-Goat Cheeze for around £6.50 which, as artisanal vegan cheeses go, is pretty average. Yeah, it’s not your £2.50 Tesco vegan cheddar, but that’s because it is so much better.

My advice: Get your ass to Planet Organic, get ready to max out your credit card, buy one of everything from New Roots’ range, and have the damn best cheese feast of your life. Get swanky and throw it on a cheese board or just fork it straight into your mouth like the trash human you are. Either way, New Roots cheese will blow your mind.

  • My Rating – 5/5
  • Omnivore Score – 5/5
  • Overall – 5/5

Find this product online at http://www.newroots.ch or at Planet Organic stores in London.

 

 

by georgiamadness

Violife Mediterranean Style Cheese

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Contains: 

Free from: Nuts, Palm Oil, Wheat, Soya

What does cheese say when it looks in the mirror? Hallou-mi. HA, kill me now. Finally we’re trying the vegan alternative to what goes in to so damn many vegetarian dishes but quick disclaimer: it does not taste like halloumi. It’s not bad but we’ll come to that in a minute, first THE PRICE. It’s like £2.50 for two bread-slice sized sheets (or maybe bricks… they’re real sturdy slices of cheese) seems a bit steep but it’s not really something you would want to use in too many meals and to be honest, it’s not that much more expensive than the straight-from-the-cow stuff.

Before we discuss taste, I LOVE halloumi. If anyone’s familiar with its taste and texture, it’s me. This, Violife, is why I’m displeased with your cheese. I mean – 1. it came AS A BRICK 2. Look at it after grilling… now compare that to the real deal. WHAT are you trying to pull here Violife? It also smells a bit lardy when cooking (because who doesn’t love smelling like sizzling fat) but they’ve clearly gone for the squidgy and rubbery texture as it squeeks around your pan like the end of a pencil. Saying that, it doesn’t really translate to mouthfeel. It’s not at all the same as that greek goodness and is more like… congealed cheddar? Some soft, clumpy, gloopy, processed cheese? It’s not necessarily a bad texture but it’s definitely not fucking halloumi.

… what is obviously not the real deal…
the real deal

It also doesn’t taste right. Again, think of a stick of rich, mature (think OAP) cheddar that’s all coagulated and congealy – that’s exactly what you’ve bought. It’s not got that mouth-puckering saltiness to it either. So all in all, it sounds like Violife have done pretty feckin’ bad… except, they haven’t. It’s not necessarily an authentic mirror image of what it claims to be, it might not even be a good replacement in any dish that would require halloumi because it’s just that off but fuck me if it isn’t really moreish.

So, verdict?… Um. Maybe buy if you’re fancying a one-off to throw in a wrap but be warned that it probably would not work in a halloumi dish. Interesting to try but I doubt I’d ever buy again.

  • My Rating: 2/5
  • Omnivore Score: 1/5
  • Overall: 1.5/5

Find this product at: Sainsbury’s, Whole Foods, Ocado and other health stores

 

by Ryan

Tesco Free-From Cheese with Peppercorns

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Contains: soy

Free from: wheat, palm oil, nuts

Do you want to try a cheese that will punch you square in the fucking face? No? Me either. But I did. Because SCIENCE. And also because it is the latest addition to the free-from coconut alternative cheese range at Tesco, so how could I refuse?

This is a different cheese than the ones we have come to know and love (or hate… the jury seems to be hung on Tesco cheese). It is much softer, creamier, and a little bit wetter than the cheddar or blue block cheeses that Tesco has to offer. It reminds me a hell of a lot of goats cheese, but without the offensive sour tang that I used to fucking despise.

The cheese itself has a nice peppery undertone but HOLY MOTHER OF GOD the peppercorn crust will kick you in the teeth and spit in your bleeding mouth. It is so ridiculously intensely peppery I can only imagine that the food techs of Tesco sat in a room and said “let’s fuck em up”. The worst part is the crust is at the BOTTOM of the packet… hidden… waiting… ready to strike.

I won’t lie to ya, I manhandled my cheese. I grabbed that fucker and scraped off as much of the godforsaken crust as I could. Only then did I actually get to enjoy it without fear of my tongue being turned to ash.

This is one of those things you would buy if you were putting together some fancy-ass cheeseboard at a dinner party you’re hosting to fool yourself and your friends into thinking you’re some sort of upper-class twat.

“Oh Deborah darling do try the peppercorn cheese… it’ll blow your fuckin tits off.”

I think the fuck not. There are peppercorns in my teeth that will be there til I die.

However, I will say that despite the satanic crust the cheese itself is top notch. It would be awesome if Tesco released a range of new cheeses based on this style to add a bit more variety to their already kick-ass free from aisle. It’s one of the few cheeses on their shelves that I would confidently say you could feed an omni with next to no complaints or comments about “real cheese” (seriously, fucking spare me).

So, it’s a bit of a tough one to score this week, so I’m gonna go on the average of how impressive the cheese is and how much peppercorn related regret I have.

  • My Rating – 4/5
  • Omnivore Score – 4/5
  • Overall – 4/5

Find this product at: Tesco

 

 

by georgiamadness

Raw Food Rosie’s Original Classic Cashew Brie

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Contains: nuts

Free from: palm oil, wheat, soy

I found Raw Food Rosie’s stall at VegFest London 2017 and it was hands down the best find of the whole festival.

I tried EVERY. SINGLE. CHEESE. (because I am a shameless and broke student) and not a single one disappointed. Seriously, the Vampire Slayer spreadable cheese blew my fucking brains out it packed such a punch.

I bought the original cashew brie because I’m a sucker for the good ol’ classics and it is one of my favourite vegan cheeses ever (if not one of my favourite cheeses ever in general).

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JUST LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE. THIS SHIT IS FANTASTIC.

It’s solid, but creamy. Apply a little pressure or let it sit at room temperature and it will spread like butter. It’s thick and rich and filling and literally everything you could want in a cheese. It makes it so diverse – you could eat this on crackers, in sandwiches, in a pasta dish… or you could sink to my level and just hack at it like a mad woman and eat it straight from the wrapping.

Price-wise it’s one of the more reasonably priced ‘artisanal’ vegan cheese at £5.50 a wheel, and it can be frozen which means you have no excuse to not dedicate an entire freezer drawer to fulfilling your cheese needs (just me? alrighty then…).

If you wanna crack this out for your omni friends and family (if you have the willpower to part with it) then it would go down pretty well compared with supermarket takes on vegan cheese. It’s much more flavoursome but in the right way, and the texture is fucking perfect.

My only issue is that I wouldn’t necessarily call this a “brie” because that makes me think of a thick white rind and soft gooey centre, which this cheese definitely does not have. As a generic mild, semi-creamy cheese though you will struggle to find anything better than this and definitely not at a better price.

Overall, it’s fucking ace.

  • My Rating – 5/5
  • Omnivore Score – 4/5
  • Overall – 4.5/5

Find this product at: http://www.rawfoodrosies.com/shop/

by georgiamadness

Tesco Free-From Blue Cheese

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Contains: soy

Free From: gluten, nuts, palm oil

Back when I was a little kid I was a cheese FIEND. My mum would have to tear my away from the cheese counter free samples before I managed to consume my tiny body weight in dairy products (she did feed me, I promise). So naturally, kicking the cheese craving was the hardest part of me going vegan.

Blue cheese was something I NEVER thought I’d be able to enjoy again, purely because it seemed completely unreasonable to expect any company to be able to perfect the creamy, tangy, and downright STANKY hunk of blue I knew and loved.

Tesco has fucking NAILED IT.

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LOOK AT THIS GOD DAMN GORGEOUS WEDGE OF MOULDY GLORY.

Blue cheese isn’t for everyone (Ryan hates the stuff) but this is such a good imitation of the real deal. It is smooth, creamy, tangy… all the things you need in a block of blue. Sure if we’re being pedantic the “mould” is blotchy rather than veiny but COME ON.

I ate this thing crumbled in a salad, sliced onto crackers, melted onto a proper good ‘n dirty burger… I even ate this by its damn self because THAT’S HOW GOOD IT IS. AND IT’S ONLY £2.50!

I am not a religious woman… but put this thing on a pedestal because I am ready to worship.

  • My Rating: 5/5
  • Omnivore Score: 4.5/5
  • Overall: 5/5

Find this product at: Tesco

by georgiamadness