Contains: palm oil, soy

Free from: nuts, wheat

I bloody love rocky road. I don’t give a fuck about you sultana-hating purists, rocky road is the shit and I will fight you. The worst part about most free-from rocky road bites is that they are sneakily non-vegan. Seriously, why the fuck would you go to all that effort to make something gluten free, egg free, AND dairy free to then be like “LOL they still got gelatin in ’em tho”. It’s a sick and cruel joke.

FORTUNATELY the ever-reliable Tesco decided to not be sick and cruel bastards and bestowed upon us a tiny tub of terrible tarmac goodness (get it? Terrible tarmac… Rocky road… Is this thing on…?).

The downside: it costs £3 for about 12 mini bites. That is like 6 normal human bites and 4 “G is menstruating and determined” bites. Not exactly value for money…

The upside: RICH AND GOOEY CHOCOLATEY GOODNESS INTERSPERSED WITH CRUNCHY BISCUIT, SULTANAS, AND SQUIDGY MARSHMALLOW.

That’s a pretty big upside if you ask me. So if you have £3 to burn or are in a desperate pit of chocolate-deprived despair, these bite-sized bastards are the tub to tuck into.

Importantly, the chocolate is an easy pass for any omni, so if you feel like 12 tiny bites are just too much for your (weak ass) self to handle you can rest assured that you can share a tub with all your pals.

Or alternatively, get them to try one and realise how fucking good they are… then proceed to eat the rest of the tub in front of them like the rocky road gremlin you are.

Your choice…

• My Rating – 5/5
• Omnivore Score – 4/5
• Overall – 5/5

Find this product at: Tesco